Focus until it hurts

First things first: one more semester of school done! Two more to go. That is more frightening than it should be.

Ok, I know not a whole lot of people read my blog, which is probably good. Once in a while I can just have a more journal-ish entry and not feel too bad that I'm boring people TO DEATH. After all, one of the reasons I started this is because I'm terrible at keeping an actual journal. So if you're reading this, bear with me this once, k? K.

I've got a lot of things happening lately, like most college students. My summer will be a bit different than most, though. I'm not going back "home" (Alaska will always be a home, but right now it's not where I belong. And it probably won't be for a few years at least). I'm not going overseas either. I'm staying in my college town and hopefully working a job that pays more than minimum wage. I stayed last summer too. When I first starting thinking about this summer, and remembering last summer, I was stressed and bummed for a number of reasons. Most of my friends are gone already. Basically all I did last summer was try to survive. I worked and I went home and did not much of anything.

So in my finals-week sleep deprived state, I thought about important things. DON'T EVER DO THIS WITHOUT SLEEP IT'S HORRIBLE. I thought: I actually probably have more reasons to dread this summer. I have considerably less money than ever before. I have the pressure of creating an art portfolio worth something before the start of next semester. A person I'm just getting to know is going to be leaving the country for a few months, which will most likely make me more of a nervous wreck than I already am.

Then I got some sleep. I haven't really gotten a whole lot of sleep all semester, so this was even more fantastic sleep than normal, despite the fact I woke up at 6AM on my own. Stupid brain. SO with this new refreshed outlook, I thought about the summer again, and tried to organize and plan in my head. I started to find positive things. I will find work, I'm sure. I've lived off of next to nothing for quite some time now, so I shouldn't even have worried about that in the first place. Besides work I won't have much I HAVE to do, and no friends to distract me, so I can spend plenty of time building art skills and a portfolio, and then by golly I will show the people that doubt me! Also I'll have time to run and exercise, and be able to plan out good meals instead of Red Baron frozen pizzas all the time. I'll still worry whether I'm handling the fledgling relationship properly, especially long-distance, but I will always worry about that to some degree. I guess I can just do my best there, and hope to goodness there are no attractive young men within 100 miles of her, right?


I have a point here. I could look at these next few months with two different outlooks. A year or so ago, I probably would have been the pessimist and just put on my mask of apathy and/or grumpiness and just struggled through it. Luckily I've made some improvements to how I view things since then. I can start to see the potential for this summer. It doesn't mean I'm not still nervous about a few things, but overall I'm excited! I get to shape parts of my life, things that would be a lot more difficult to do in many other situations.

Every clouds have silver linings, but you're not forced to see them. You have to look.

Dragons, robots, and girls

Well! I have been busy this semester. Today was something I've been working hard towards all semester: Foundation Review.

SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM TO SKIP RANT AND SEE COOL THINGS

As art majors at SUU, we have to pass a "skill check" of sorts in order to be accepted into whatever BA or BFA program we want. Basically we bring in work from all of our studio art classes, stick it on a piece of wall with all of the other potentials, and leave while a panel of professors scrutinize and decide whether or not we're cut out for our particular major. This is supposed to happen in our sophomore year. I have a couple of teeny tiny rants about this.

1) The art department doesn't prep you for this at all. In fact, the very first time I ever heard of it was a week before it was supposed to happen an entire semester after I could have applied the first time! How hard would it be to have a little meeting once at the start of each semester with new art majors and tell them about it? This would prevent students from throwing away artwork they'll need later. It would also set a clear checkpoint in their schooling for them to look forward to and prepare for.

2) The information they DO eventually give you about the review is misleading. "Bring at least 3 pieces of artwork from each studio art class you've taken, up to a total of 20." Wait, okay...do you want to see crappy work from every class, even if it means you can't put more than 3 pieces from another class that you have better work? I still don't know. The opinion of each professor is different from every other, and also is different from the Art Department Head. They also COMPLETELY NEGLECT to inform you in this info packet that your art is supposed to all be printed out and matted nicely, and that presentation counts. You learn that when you show up.

3) The venue is terrible. You have a choice: a small piece of painted wall that you can't put pins into and doesn't let wall tack stick, or a small piece of wall covered in fabric-wrapped cushion that is like a corkboard, if corkboards didn't work at all. They provide tacks, but they are the ugly kind that could kill a small child.

More people are killed by T-pins each year than by sharks. True Story.

4) There are hidden requirements. My first time around I was rejected. The letter I received told me I didn't get in BUT NOT WHY. I asked my professor (head of the Illustration department, and a huge determining factor) and he didn't know. None of the other students knew. In fact, everybody I talked to was as confused about it as I was.The second time I was also rejected. This time I was given reasons.
~ I need to keep a sketchbook. This is bull, since I DID keep a bright orange sketchbook that I took with me everywhere and both professors saw on a regular basis.
~ I need to attend Wednesday night open drawing. Also bull. This is not a class, not a club, just a few people who informally gather every week and draw. Nobody ever said it was required to get into the BFA program. Besides, I worked many Wednesdays that semester. And I knew several people who got into the program and never went to open drawing ever.

Well, I have learned from all of the above, and have talked to the Art Department Head to try to get things changed a little. A heads-up at the start of every semester for people new to the major. A little bit better explanation in the info letter. It hasn't worked though...I happen to go in and ask this semester, and found out that the review was 5 days away. I hadn't received any email or heard any announcements; the secretary said I should have read the posters they put up. On the boards around the school that have about 900 other posters on them. That I don't even walk by, and most people don't bother reading. Then they sent out emails TWO DAYS before the review, essentially giving us (by the time we get home to read the email) about a day and a few hours to prepare.

BLAH BLAH RANT RANT I could go on about this for quite a while. In any case, I feel good about my personal progress, and I got my art into the review and I feel good about it. Even if I don't get into the program again, I'm almost beyond caring. I know I'm improving quickly, I know I have a lot to work on, and nothing is going to stop me from pursuing this.

Now for arts!

You can also check out the rest of my stuff, including some nice shinies I've made recently, on my DeviantArt account here.